#AllTheFilters

If I talk about him too much it’s because he’s all I have. All I am. Everything I’m doing at the moment is him.

I’m sorry if I bore you or if you’d rather talk about more fun things. So would I. SO WOULD I. I want to talk about the latest cinema or the funny things I’ve been up to or the nights I’ve had out or the classes I’m attending.

My life is so dull. The only fun things I do are fun things he does. The only classes I’m attending are Autism 101. The only exciting things happening for me are hearing our EHCP paperwork has been received and that the process is beginning.

I’m sorry if I bore you enough to cut me off. I cut myself off too. Do you notice? Half way through a sentence I realise I’m boring you, so I stop and ask you about yourself. Did you see that? Probably not.

Maybe it’s just too hard for you to hear. You have your own life, your own struggles, your own hard times. Why would you want to hear about mine? I understand that. I do. Not that I focus on the bad, I really, really don’t. Believe me, you get the IG version of how I’m feeling today. Hashtag: allthefilters.

I promised myself when we started this journey that I wouldn’t become all consumed with it. But some days I simply can’t manage anything else.

I’m sorry if I bore you.

This is my life.