Last night is the first group I’ve ever refused to discus the weeks outcome (be it a gain or a loss). I just needed time to whirl it round my head first. To take it in and digest just how I felt about it. And as SW never insist you discuss your week, Sara was happy for me to do this, which I appreciated.
Now that I’ve done that, I’m not to going to beat about the bush. I had a whopping gain of 3lbs and I’m gutted.
I know why I did. I spent the week estimating my syns (or just not bothering to count them at all) and eating things I knew weren’t going to give me a positive outcome come Thursday. I don’t feel guilty about this, I feel bloody annoyed, and disappointed in myself. Its not like I don’t know what I’m doing. Look how many weeks I’ve been going! I just got lax. Slack and not mindful of what I was doing. And I have no reasons for it (not that I would insult you with petty excuses). Why did I let myself do it? I just couldn’t tell you. Sorry.
I don’t know what else to say really except that I obviously want to lose it again. Those certificates I cover my kitchen doors with, don’t mean a thing if I’m not keeping the weight off to match. Also I know it’s ‘only’ 4lbs across two weeks, but do you know I can already feel it in my clothes? And I just don’t want to. So this week, I will be: upping my super free, drinking more squash, properly counting my syns and writing everything down. Basics really. Boring I know but if I do it right I get the results I want. Every time I want to eat something synned I will ask myself whether I really want it and remind myself of how yukky I felt looking down at the scales this week.
We’ll get there. Even if there are a few detours along the way.
On a more positive note, the clothes swap went brilliantly. I made low syn pinwheel sandwiches to take with me that went down a storm (0.5 syn for two)
I didn’t find much by way of clothes, but I tell you what, it was enough that I could even look. At the last one, there were few plus sizes at all and certainly nothing that fitted me, so I just sat and chatted. This time I found various items that were too big for me (yay!) and I did find a gorgeous Boden dress, I would never have looked at normally. It’s missing a belt, is a bit shorter than I would normally wear and I also think it could do with being an inch looser, not that the girls agreed. But I loved the look it gave me – grown up and elegant. I plan to wear it for dinner when we go on our mini break.
The best part about it is the size. It’s a 16. Happy squeal!
Which is it is so important that I don’t have more weeks like this one. The way I feel when I find smaller clothes that fit is too immense to lose.
Have a super week.